You're That Guy...

You're that guy buddy.

• -That guy that sees me waiting for a parking space at the theaters and decides you're going to wait for the same space and test my parking skills.
• -That guy who's about 6'5 and arrives to the biggest blockbuster of the summer 15 minutes late and spends another 15 minutes loudly whispering "Is someone sitting there?"
• -The guy that doesn't realize these aisles weren't made for walking when people are actually sitting in the chairs.
• -That guy that steps on my girl's foot 2x yesterday, cause you didn't realize that you wanted a $5 drink on your way back from the bathroom
• -That guy that didn't think he needed to shower before the film, and decided it would be ok to go out in 100 degree weather, during a storm, and bring that wet dog smell into the theater with you.
• That guy who gives their own mini-criticism of every preview shown, dubbing it a great film or a piece of crap. Like we're all just dying to hear you're opinion of it, Ebert Jr.
• That guy with the annoying girlfriend who doesn't know how to shut the heck up (clean version). All I hear is the annoying banter of "So who's she again?", "What are they doing now?", "Why are they doing that?", "Wow, is he dead or was that just a trick?". Seriously dude, instead of telling her "I don't know dear, watch the film" every 5 minutes, just leave her butt at home, or get well acquainted with your local Blockbuster Express.
  
• -That guy who doesn't know how to not kick the back of my seat, or better yet, doesn't know how to tell your girlfriend, who's obviously on speed at the moment, not to kick my seat. Don't make me turn around miss (clean version).
• -That guy who walks out the theater, walks past the huge group of people waiting inline to see the next show and goes "So Bruce Willis was actually dead the whole time!"...

You're that guy buddy, and sometimes I wonder what the world would be like without you.