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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Most Underrated Films of 2011 Pt.2

TheVerdict: 
Before we jump back into this, I decided that MAYBE, the first list I read was just a fluke. You know, some lazy chick writing up some sh*t just to do it. I thought, "Hey, maybe there's someone at a site like Huffingtonpost, who knows a thing or two about underrated films. I should find that person.".... I. DID. NOT. FIND. THIS. PERSON. Instead, what I found was an even worse list, with the biggest fuggery film of 2011 on it, listed as "underrated".


Oh, Scott Mendelson, you sir are a turkish turd of wonderful nonsensical BOOLSHET! Really sir?! Your Highness is underrated now? Sucker Punch is underrated? Spy Kids 18 is underrated? Priest is underrated? Did this fool just look at all the bad films and go, I'm about to stir up a fresh pot of controversy? FOH with this blasphemy. None of those films are underrated, they're all just pieces of sh*t that no one but Scott got fooled into liking, while thinking he knew something we didn't that made the films a little better than pig sh*t stew on a rainy Sunday.


Fug dat List, Here's Pt.2....Lezdodis! In Order Of Release


8. The Beaver ( You mean the Movie about the Beaver...Yes, That one)
Drama


Some of you remember a really prominent A-List actor named, Mel Gibson. Well Fail Gibson over the past year or two has made a complete assfacefugger of himself. I also heard rumors that his No-speaky-smart-english wife is about to get like hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of millions of Fail's dollars. Welp, atleast he gave us this weirdly, interestingly dark film to distract us from the biggest Fail since Paul McCartney lost half his sh*t to some chick. The Beaver is ultimately about Mel. Its about a man, who has everything and absolutely NOTHING at the same time. It about spiralling down into such a suicidal depression that you shove your fist up a Beaver's ass and make it your Psychologist. This film seemed to have a lot of undertones to it. The acceptance and rejection of The Beaver, leading up to his final demise was very interesting to me. It may bore you to pieces, but I thought it was a well crafted mid-saturday rental. Wait'll yall see how Fail kills the Beaver!!!


9. Super 8 ( J.J. Abrams is NOT Michael Bay, you whiny Syfy TurdNuts)
Syfy, Action, Thriller



You know what I learned from Super 8. I learned that people don't know how to watch a f*ggin' movie anymore. They can't distinguish good acting from great acting. They can't separate suspense from loud noises, disaster, and wars. They've never seen ET, or the Goonies. Its obvious, especially when you walk out of a film like Super 8 and say, "Why'd it take them so long to show us the creature?" You numbnuts disgust me. This is not a disaster film or a Creature on the loose trying to destroy our world, film. It's a film about how Man Ain't Sh*T! Man constantly does sh*t out of greed, jealousy, and just plain ignorance. Beyond that, the action scenes in this film are greatness and pie, and the child actors, specifically Ellen Fanning give very riveting performances. Its such a perfect homage to the 80's, where the story matters more than the next big sound. A Must Own FIlm, if you ask me.




10. Transformers 3 ( Too Many Humans, Just Enough Fights!)
Action, Robots, More Action, More RObots, Lots More Action, Look at AllDem Robots!


I loved Transformers 3. Period. While everyone else claimed it had a bad plot, it was too long, there were too many humans, yadayada whoopidy whoop whoop, I was satisfied. I finally got to see some crazy ass action sequences with Transformers transforming in mid battle!! How is that NOT awesome? Yea, you could def cut out about an hour of BS, but still, its not like there was a fight scene only every 40 minutes. The robots were constantly getting it in this time. And the film looked absolutely gorgeous, $90 Million of beautiful violence. Remember how fuggin' fuzzy TF2 was? I hate that piece of sh*t ass film. But I love TF3. Megatron was a Hobo yo! A. HOE. BOW! BumbleBee knocked some mechanical clown's face off! AMAAAAZZZINNNGG! I went to see robots fighting, I got to see Robots fighting. What more did you expect? Too much more, if you hated this movie.




11. Friends With Benefits ( They did What Ashton and Natalie couldn't do )
Romance, Comedy


I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. I loath Mila Kunis. Yes she's cute. Yes she can be hot and sexy, even though she's the width of my forearm, that's still one sexy cute hot forearm width. She's just that cool funny chick in films, and the irony of this all, is that she's the voice of Meg on Family guy; one of the supposedly most hideous cartoon females ever. Mila is constantly on her grind, I wish she'd get on mine. She really impressed me in Black Swan, and now her she is again, playing the forceful, sarcastic, proud, domineering, sexy, seemingly undesireable love interest of J.T. *cues "Its my D*ck in a Box". All my twitter peeps will get that double entendre. Justin Timberlake also does a very good job, even in the more dramatic scenes where their "friendship" is failing apart. This film actually came off as believable. It's more a film for new generation young adults. It's fast paced, short, sweet, and to the point; its also funny! Its not that Nicolas Sparks crap, that middle aged chicks love to gush their Catherine's panties over. Fellas, if you got to get a chick flick, get this comedy disguised as a chick romance flick. Warning** You will be forced to watch J.T.'s ass for a few scenes, but you get to see Milas tight lil booty too.






12. Attack The Block ( Aliens in the Hood Killing Black Kids is Exciting Stuff)
Thriller, Sci-fi, Gangsta Flick



Some might say, Attack the Block is the Belly of Horror films. I'd say, that's idiotic and you should be kicked in the face with Warren Sapp's cleats until you breath air the same way Owen Wilson does. Attack The Block may make my list for the biggest let down of 2011 as well. Real Talk. I'd heard this film was the best sh*t people had seen this year, and then I saw it. So impressed, but at the same time, not nearly as impressed as some of my followers hyped me to be. I hate yall for that, you know who you are you bastards. Honestly though, how could you not like this twist on Alien Invasion films. A group of baby hoodlums with a leader named Moses, fight back against some snarling, neon spitting, Alien Gorilla Dog Beasts. I got to say, that does seem to be something that could have been the best film of 2011, but so far, its merely the most underrated.






13. Our Idiot Brother ( A Movie Titled My Idiot Brother that's really About his Idiot Sisters, AWESOME!)
Drama, Comedy, Women Ain't Shit Too



I'd like to thank my girl for putting me onto this one. She saw this, and instantly knew I'd like it. The film is just one long "STOP AND TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELVES BEFORE PUTTING FINGERS" moment. I loved every minute of it. Yes, their brother is truly an idiot, but he's a genuine idiot. The reveals that each character make while having to "deal" with their brother is such a twist on what you'd expect as a viewer. Its such a deep film. Paul Rudd never ceases to amaze me with the roles he's chosen since his Clueless days, I love that movie, cause I love Stacy Dash! This film could cause some controversial dialogue amongst opposing genders. I appreciate movies that do that. Plus, its still funny.






14. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo ( If you have no idea what its about, please don't assume you know what its about)
Suspense, Thriller, Mystery, Action



I couldn't wait to see this movie. David Fincher deserves an award for being able to pull this off on American Soil without soiling the original. Mara Rooney deserves a fuggin Oscar or Academy award for her portrayal of Lisbeth Salamander. Controversy in 3, 2, 1....Mara Rooney did a better job than Noomi. If you feel different, the comment section is below, don't get too reckless with it. I know this is one of the biggest releases this year, so how could it be underrated? Its very simple, a bunch of idiots are going to see it and have already expressed how its "boring", and "long". This takes me back to Super 8, where I stated people, specifically ghetto folk, don't know how to watch a damn movie. Just shut the fug up, and watch the film homey. Pay attention breh breh. If you can't appreciate a score and cinematography, then this film isn't for you. If you don't have any patience and don't like to pay attention to details like News on the Television and Newspapar headlines, then this film isn't for you. If you're squeamish and can't handle sadistic sh*t on screen, this film is DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU. I can't wait to see how Fincher pulls of the next two sequels to this film, with the new Lis he's introduced American audiences to.

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! BIG SIMBA'S MOST UNDERRATED FILMS OF 2011.

I DEFINITELY MISSED A LOT OF FILMS LIKE DRIVE, CARNAGE, J. EDGAR, THE DESCENDANTS, YOUNG ADULTS, HUGO, TIN TIN, WARRIOR, 50/50, MONEYBALL, ETC.

I'D DEFINITELY LIKE TO HEAR YOUR LIST OF 2011 UNDERRATED FILMS. WARNING** IF YOU LIST SOME SH*T LIKE "HOODRATS 5" I'M JOKE THE SH*T OUT OF YOU, GO RENT THAT SH*T, WATCH IT, AND THEN MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO JOKING THE SH*T OUT OF YOU!


LEAVE A COMMENT, GET IT OFF YA CHESS!...Weezy

1 comment:

What’s New said...

I agree with Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. That was an amazing movie. Too bad more people did not go to see it.

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